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We are living in the midst of an unprecedented transformation of erotic and intimate life. Although this has been the subject of much controversy, most people have taken for granted the results of the changes, with little awareness of how things have changed, and how significant the changes have been. The article explores three traps that commentators fall into. The first is a mindless progressivism that assumes that all is for the best in all possible worlds. The second is a declinist approach, which assumes that all change is for the worst and that the quality of our morality - for which we can read sexual behaviour and values - is in hopeless decline. The third approach assumes continuity: yes, superficial things have changed, but in essence power structures have remained resilient. Subforms of the continuist approach are described, derived from feminist, queer, and anti neo-liberal critiques. Against these broad analytical approaches, the article affirms the importance of a historical approach. This would recognise that change has been uneven, but transforming nevertheless, and for the better. What makes them so significant is that they have largely been grass roots led: a true remaking of everyday life under the pressure of globalisation, detraditionalisation and heightened individualisation. In drawing up a balance sheet of the great transition we must conclude that a new world is emerging, a world we have won.
