A reductio ad absurdum takes the principles of a doctrine, applies them exactly as their creators did only to an entirely different subject and with horrendous results, and thus shows what absurd conclusions are logically compatible with the original thesis. This article applies the tenets of the Chicago law and economics tradition, as adumbrated by two of its most distinguished practitioners, Coase and Posner. It shows that on the basis of this canon a case can be made out for freeing O.J. Simpson—even if he did indeed kill his wife. The article is an attempt to show that the libertarian reliance on personal and private property rights is a much more robust thesis than the Chicago precept of wealth maximization.